Addicted!

“Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism.”
-Carl Jung

Anyone who has struggled or watched someone struggle with a serious addiction knows that for the abuser life is a rollercoaster that takes them from highs of sobriety to the abject lows of using episodes. And while for many the ultimate goal remains, “I will stop smoking/ drinking/ injecting/ snorting…tomorrow” the tomorrow comes and goes.   

I have worked briefly with a Drug Rehab programme and it followed the then unusual but now popular, Drug Harm Reduction approach. (Read more here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harm_reduction).

This approach is pragmatic and believes that while abusers struggle with their addictions, the risks and harm associated with their drug consumption can be minimized. For example, a heroin addict can go from injecting to snorting to smoking (which is considered lower risk), or if abusers will insist on injecting, we ensure that they are educated on the value of using disposable syringes instead of sharing, to avoid HIV related risks, etc.

At the workplace we all have our addictions. An addiction is something that isn't physically necessary, but leads to negative emotional states when the thing we are addicted to isn't supplied. 

For some the work itself is a drug, for others it is power and one upmanship, the compulsive need to be right, being liked and popular is an addiction or just the addiction to the adrenaline rush that comes from winning all the time.

Biologically, research shows that we can even be addicted to certain emotions and keep recreating scenarios that lead us to experience those emotions over and over again. (Read: http://www.healthstresswellness.com/index.asp?pgid=72 & http://www.healingcancer.info/ebook/candace-pert to know more).

While facilitating any behavioural change it’s important to remember that the resistance to change comes from an addiction to certain emotions at the deepest cellular level. That is why change always requires us to lean into discomfort. If a Coach or a facilitator promises you a pain free transformation I would look at them with suspicion.

The drug harm reduction approach appeals to me because it looks at changing behavior in an incremental fashion. You cannot expect everyone to give up their ‘drugs of choice’ cold turkey. There is no magic pill. It’s not a switch that can be put on or off but rather a regulator where we can bring down the intensity, frequency and duration of the harmful behaviours gradually. While we do this we try to protect the ‘addict’ by minimizing the risks and harm that those behaviours represent.  

So initially, the risk is that a coachee might not be able to accept the implications of the feedback he has received. Here the ego is fragile and in an attempt to maintain the perceived self concept he or she goes into denial. This reaction is natural and is the mind and body’s attempt to hold on to the addictions. So if the person’s addiction is to always play the victim, he/she will get depressed, if it is power the reaction could be one of anger, etc. During this phase their work can get affected and this is the harm that the coach needs to manage. This is done by constant encouragement and assurance which comes from a space of unconditional positive regard.

The effects of these negative moods can also reflect in interactions within the team. That is why it is important for the coachee to inform his team about the transformational journey he is undertaking. Social support is key to succeeding in sustaining long term change. This also helps to maintain relationships during the often challenging transition time.

Facilitating Change- A top Down Process

Facilitating intact teams is always an interesting experience. An entire team and sometimes entire departments come into the session, carrying their unique power dynamics, conflicts and silos. Add to this the presence of the top boss and what you get is a potentially volatile situation that needs all the presence and awareness a facilitator can muster.

What happens at work is always reflected in the classroom. Leaders believe that the problem is down below, wiser men know otherwise. The functioning of a team is a direct reflection of the leader leading it.  

At the conclusion of a recent workshop with an IT Department of an Organization, the functional Head invited me to his cabin to discuss his team. He sought feedback on his people. After having identified his top three ‘problem people’ he also realized that they were also his top performing guys. Having overheard various snatches of conversation during the session and seen the way the team reacted to this leader I had realized that the problem could lay elsewhere.

We discussed strategies to manage his people and then I asked him a casual open ended question, “What is your equation with your team?” My intention was to steer the conversation in his direction and assess his openness to feedback. To the leader’s credit, after a long pause, he admitted that he wished things were better with his team.

The next question I asked him led to an Aha moment for him. I asked, “How does your team feel in your presence?"

While answering the second question what the functional head realized was that his team felt insecure under his leadership, because they perceived that he got routinely bulldozed by other functional heads and hence could not secure the resources his team expected

What followed was one of the most heartfelt and honest conversation I have ever had with a leader. When the readiness is there the solutions appear. Genuine change is only possible then. The road ahead for this introvert leader maybe uphill but I believe he will get there because of his strong will to improve. A trait that has taken him this far…