Some stuff on emotions, Polyvagal theory and therapy.
Something I often share with clients in my practice is that
thoughts are not facts. That they are hypotheses that we can test, accept or
discard. But the emotions evoked by thoughts feel real because they are somatic-
rooted in our body.
What I notice is that while people are able
to understand at a cognitive level that beliefs or thoughts moderate our
emotional response to an event (Albert Ellis’s ABC model). But, they don’t have
the tools to get past their emotions. Insight does not equal change.
It is just the first step.
Through the experience of a strong
therapeutic alliance people can regulate their nervous system enough to create
a sense of connection and calm. And eventually they learn to do this
themselves. Though we can all benefit from frequent doses of co-regulation. 😊
Hence the importance of regular therapy
and supervision for all therapists and coaches.
This is where the polyvagal theory of emotion has revolutionised
our understanding of what really happens when a ‘safe space’ is created in
therapy and why it’s so important to truly create lasting change.
But first some neurobiology of emotions.
*Disclaimer: I am beginner at this vast, never ending topic.
The following is based on my study and understanding.
The Vagus nerve is the longest cranial nerve in our body. It
runs from the brain to the colon. (There has been some speculation about the
possibility that this is the Ida or Pingala Nadis in Yogic traditions, but that
is a whole different digression)
It has three possible activation states- Ventral Vagal,
Sympathetic activation and Dorsal vagal activation.
It is often called the poly-vagal ladder to indicate that we
go up and down this ladder as our mental and environmental conditions change.
So, this is how we experience the three states in terms of
our everyday experience of this activation-
|
Ladder
Rung |
Experienced
as |
The World
Is |
I am |
|
Ventral Vagal |
A sense of
social connection |
Safe |
Socially
connected and regulated |
|
Sympathetic |
Fight or
Flight Reaction- Mobilization, People are a threat/enemy |
Unsafe but
manageable |
Dysregulated-
Anxious or Angry and defensive |
|
Dorsal Vagal |
Immobilization/
Disconnection/Collapse People don’t exist |
Unsafe and I
can’t escape |
Shut down-
Dissociated |
|
Fawn State |
Blend of
Sympathetic (gives energy to move) and Dorsal Vagal shutdown (inhibits parts
of our consciousness allowing us to prioritise other people’s needs over our
own in order to survive). |
Unsafe and I
need to appease the dominant to survive |
Appeasing, Auto-pilot,
Accommodating and under resourced. |
|
Ventral Vagal
and Sympathetic Blend |
Play and
exploration, movement, dancing |
Safe and I
want to explore it |
Playful and
curious |
|
Ventral Vagal
and Dorsal Blend |
Stillness,
rest, cuddling, meditation |
Safe and I
want to go within |
Connected to
my inner state |
The theory posits that this is a predictable hierarchy.
These states can be predicted which is great information for therapists and coaches.
Though mostly coaches work at the level of sympathetic to Ventral. Trained therapists
can work on all three levels.
Neuroception-
The nervous system gets its cues as to which state to activate from a process called neuroception. This is the term coined by Dr. Porges. Neuroception is the body’s ability to detect danger outside of conscious awareness. The danger identified from the external environment, inside your body, or in our connections with others. It tells us whether to move into connection or protection. This is all happening under the level of thinking- unconsciously. So, we need to bring perception into neuroception to create awareness.
We can create this awareness from within through mindfulness,
yoga, rhythmic movement and music, art, gardening, animal assisted experiences,
safe warm touch, chanting and humming and from outside through co-regulation
with another regulated nervous system.
Co-regulation
We are wired to connect. Little babies are unable to
regulate themselves, they need the adult with a clear gaze, prosodic voice,
calm presence to regulate their nervous system. This is the definition of
safety. That is why the therapy or coaching that creates this safety can be so
transformational. What is happening is that the presence of a grounded, calm
nervous system helps us to regulate our own nervous system and create a sense
of safety. Once this is established one’s own inner wisdom (the
neo-cortex) is easier to access. (Read more on Ed Tronick's work)
An example of how this works in therapy.
A client who is usually in the dorsal vagal (disconnection
phase) showed up for her fourth session clearly in the ventral vagal (present, calm,
connected). As the session progressed, the topic ventured as always to her childhood
and family of origin trauma. She said something extremely significant and insightful
and realised something heart breaking but true. Instantly she reported feeling
fatigue and sleepy (slipping into her default dorsal vagal mode of
disconnection).
Other clients as they start circling issues that their
nervous system deem dangerous, usually memories or realisations that are
unpleasant report feeling foggy, blank or tired. If they are crying, sobbing or
showing anger I venture further because they are in the sympathetic state. But
if they go into dorsal vagal, I file this information for later sessions. Because
at the moment I respond to feedback that their nervous system is giving me, “This
cue of danger is too much for me to bear. I am shutting down to survive.”
So gently I turn the discussion to something that returns
their nervous system to ventral vagal. Usually towards a strength or a
favourite topic of theirs. This is not bypassing the issue. It is about timing
and capacity to bear this discomfort. A capacity we build slowly during the therapeutic process. Usually the client brings it up in a subsequent session, often not remembering that this was discussed briefly before.
As therapists awareness of these shifts in the nervous system is very useful. These are cues that tell us where the true challenge lies. But we go slowly, gently. Holding space. Keeping their nervous system in mind and leaving them with a feeling of resourcefulness.
Once this has been done enough their
capacity to deal with the hard stuff increases and often you don’t have to
truly do much, because ultimately they know far more about their situation,
challenges and solutions than you do. Therapy is about facilitating this access
to their inner resources and wisdom. After a while, the sessions are more about
getting a maintenance dose of this co-regulation.
Deb Dana writes, “Polyvagal Theory identifies co-regulation
as a biological imperative: a need that must be met to sustain life. It is
through reciprocal regulation of our autonomic states that we feel safe to move
into connection and create trusting relationships. We can think of the
autonomic nervous system as the foundation upon which our lived experience is
built. This biological resource is the neural platform that is beneath every
experience. How we move through the world—turning toward, backing away,
sometimes connecting and other times isolating—is guided by the autonomic
nervous system. Supported by co-regulating relationships, we become resilient.
In relationships awash in experiences of misattunement, we become masters of
survival. In each of our relationships, the autonomic nervous system is
“learning” about the world and being toned toward habits of connection or
protection.”
In work with couples, it is easy to observe the increased
reactivity that occurs when a disagreement quickly escalates and cues of danger
communicated between the two nervous systems trigger each partner’s need for
protection. In contrast, the attunement of the therapist–client relationship
relays signals of safety and an autonomic invitation for connection.
Each client has a different window of tolerance. This can
also change from moment to moment but there is a baseline size of where they
spend most time. You can see your own tendencies to assess. For example, I have
spent a large part of my time in the dorsal vagal or disconnection phase. So,
over a period of time I have enlarged my WOT to the connection or ventral vagal
activation. For me the red flag of slipping into the dorsal vagal is if I don’t
feel like talking to other people or connecting. I let myself take that break.
But this disconnection is conscious now and a cue that I need to do something
that will make feel safe again. I also notice myself becoming a little more
confrontative than usual, atleast by my standards. This is a big deal for me.
And I beam with secret inner pride at my nervous system for tolerating this sympathetic
activation.
Any sort of traumatic experience can make us go to the lower
rungs of the polyvagal ladder.
This is why the therapist’s own presence, constant inner
work and ability to regulate our own nervous system during a session
irrespective of what might be happening in our own personal life is essential.
All techniques are useless unless this exists.
There are also lots of implications in terms of attachment
patterns, parenting, couple’s therapy, leadership, etc.
Resilience comes from nervous system regulation. The
nervous system is a system of relationships. And it gets toned by our older and
current experiences. So, it can be reshaped. Therapy is one way of doing this.
I will close here for now.
References:
Emotion: An Evolutionary By Product of the Neural Regulation
of the Autonomic Nervous System“ Stephen W. Porges Institute for Child Study
University of Maryland College Park, Maryland 20742-1 I31
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