While roleplaying an appraisal
scenario, a senior manager questioned the need to give detailed feedback. His
exact words were, “The percentage (in terms of appraisal) is already decided
beforehand. What’s the point in hashing it out and having a long conversation
with the employee? I wrap up my appraisals in 5 minutes.”
This gentleman had complained of high
attrition in his team at the start of the workshop and articulated his
expectations of learning a fool proof way of curbing this trend!
One way of engaging team members is by
giving timely positive feedback. Interestingly
when I start talking about giving positive feedback and appreciation I find a
lot of resistance. In principle, everyone agrees that giving ‘praise’ and
‘appreciation’ is important. I find however during role plays people want to
but are either immensely ill equipped to give positive reinforcement or are
simply not very comfortable giving any of it.
Everyone agrees that it feels great to
receive appreciation. They also agree that giving genuine appreciation feels
good. But no one seems to know why such a crucial interpersonal behaviour that
is pleasurable for both parties involved is practiced so little?
Here are some possible beliefs that
might make managers hesitate to give verbal recognition
1. Praise
leads to complacency
2. I
am too busy
3. I
just don’t know what to say
4. Other
team members might get jealous
In my early years, I had a manger who
was often critical of my mistakes but he was just as generous when I did
something right. He never held back his appreciation telling me exactly what I
did well. He would sometimes also pass on credit for work he had done and I had
only supported, to me. So while his criticism would be harsh and painful to
hear, I didn’t live in fear of making mistakes. Instead I tried my best to earn
his praise so while I tried to rectify my weaknesses I also strengthened my
strengths. I lived to achieve and get better not in trying to hide my flaws from him. It made me take more risks and think out of the box. That’s
what praise and recognition does to a team member.
Far from creating complacency or
jealousy, specific, timely and fair appreciation creates a positive atmosphere.
It also becomes easier for the team members to recognize the competencies and
behaviours that are important for the manager and shows them that the manager
is observing their actions.
Kenneth Blanchard and Spencer Johnson’s One Minute Manager outlines a few steps
for giving one minute praise! My favourite line from the book is, “….catch them
doing something right!”
Here are the steps
- Tell people that you will be giving them
feedback
- Praise people immediately
- Tell them what they are doing
right-immediately.
- Tell people how good you feel about what they
did right and how it helps the Organizations/Team members.
- Encourage them to do more of the same.
So simple! It’s not enough to just think that
someone’s done a good job, say it to them. Often!
After reading your post, I actually sat down to think about it and realised how easy it is to criticise and unless there is something spectacular about someone's efforts, it becomes very difficult for me to praise. I think a lot of it stems from my idea of "praise must be earned" or that it makes one complacent.
ReplyDeleteI think this works on the lines of another conundrum that I took a while to understand - How can gratitude lead to abundance? When i am happy with what i have, how will I ever get more? I can masquerade all my harsh criticism as tough love but I doubt it does the job, as much as a word of genuine praise. And now that I think of it, the place where I need to exercise is most, is at home.
Thank you for reminding me.