Standing at the door of an empty conference room,

I love the thought of what might unfold.

The surge of energy that is about to pulse,

The promise of deep connection that it holds.

As we explore together and learn,

And laugh and dissect our collective experiences.

Those who were strangers once transform,

And we start looking beyond appearances.

Nothing is more important than the will to change,

To pause and take stock of how far we have come.

To stumble and learn from each other,

And realize that the whole is greater than the part of its sum. 

When Coaching Fails...

In Buddhism, there is a parable of the eye-begging Brahman. The story goes that in a past life, when Shariputra, one of Shakyamuni Buddha's ten major disciples, was engaged in bodhisattva practices such as selflessly serving the needs of others, he met a Brahman who asked for his eye. Shariputra offered his whole body to the Brahman, but the Brahman insisted only on Shariputra’s own eye. Shariputra joyfully complied with this extreme request.

Shariputra was aghast at what happened next. Not only did the Brahman fail to thank him but he threw the eye on the ground and stamped on it, claiming to be disgusted by its smell. Appalled, Shariputra decided that leading such people as this Brahman to salvation was beyond him; as a result he abandoned the practice he had pursued for so long and concentrated only on his own nirvana.

Some quick lessons here for all of us in the helping profession:

1. Sometimes a coach can feel like Shariputra, thinking “what’s the point?” And that is normal. But unlike him when our help is rejected and we feel disillusioned, that’s the time to dig in deeper and stick to your beliefs. That’s the time to realize that the client might still need coaching but is simply not ready for it in his life right now.
2. This story reminded me about the dangers of entering into a helping relationship with someone who is not ready to receive input. Coaching readiness is a function of a coachees' desire to change and their degree of openness. Without this no amount of interventions can work. Sometimes you are able to turn around a reluctant coachee and create commitment. Sometimes you can’t. After a while you can tell the difference between those you can help and those you can't.
3. And finally, it’s also the time to introspect about our own ego attachments regarding client outcomes. Maintaining equanimity is crucial in such situations. Change is a slow, drawn out and a process laden with discomfort. A coach’s persistence and commitment is crucial but sometimes things might be beyond your control. It’s ok!  

The Road Less Traveled...

Over the last few years I have had many facilitators seek me out while contemplating going solo. Striking out on your own without the support of an Organization is surprisingly easy given the nature of the industry. If you really think about it, the facilitator is the product. He/she co creates and facilitates the learning experience. A training Organization is only as good as its facilitators. You don’t need formal office space, you can work from home, you can put up a website fairly easily nowadays and if you are good, work will be plenty.

If you are thinking of doing something on your own, there are typically two routes.

1.     Start a consultancy- This would involve having a registered company, name, logo the whole nine yards. If you have a likeminded colleague you can start something in partnership. That way you have support and two heads are usually better than one.

2.    Freelance- I prefer the word Independent Consultant better, but you get the gist. Here you are on your own and ‘free’ to offer you services to whomever you choose. You could be representing yourself with one client and another training Organization with another.

I have taken both routes and recognized that I work best on my own, in an independent Learning and Development Professional capacity.  I have close friends who are successfully running training consultancies in partnership or on their own. It’s important to figure out which way you want to go. If you decide to go independent here are some things to consider:

1.       Are you self-motivated? There is no boss to count your training man days, and as one person your reach is significantly smaller than that of an Organization’s. You need to really push yourself to go out there, network and get quality work. This is especially true in the first year.

2.       Are you a Monopreneur? A monopreneur is a one man army who manages all aspects of business single handedly. Are you driven enough to develop business, customize and sometimes create content, facilitate, do a post training eval, invoice the client and follow up for payment with multiple clients?

3.       Do you think better in a team setting? Being independent means no colleagues to bounce ideas off. If you are the kind of person who likes to discuss and pick others brains while ideating going solo may be a lonely experience for you. Over the years, I have created a network of other Monopreneurs and trusted professional with whom I often collaborate and share ideas with.

4.       Is a steady cash flow imperative? Everyone has different financial needs. If you need a fixed steady cash flow then have enough saved up to see you through atleast the first year. On time payment is one of the biggest issues in a free lancer’s world. A way out is to ensure that you have some retainership arrangements with clients that guarantee work every month.

5.       Learn, Learn, Learn: Have you seen beauty queens answer the Q n A round during pageants? No matter what the question the answer is always either ‘Mother Teresa’ or ‘World Peace’.  I know facilitators like that, no matter what the learning gap; they deliver the same content in slightly different ways. When you are on your own, you can either create a niche, and only facilitate in those areas or you can upgrade your skills. Don’t get left behind. It is crucial to upgrade your skills frequently. Every year I put aside an amount to get some kind of certification under my belt. This will ensure that you have something different to offer your clients and you don’t get bored either.

6.       Networking is key: More people you reach out to, more the likelihood of business coming your way. Networking can be done during formal events such conferences and seminars or even on social media. Linked In has been my favourite go to for creating professional relationships and seeking out potential contacts. Another way is to network with other freelance facilitators. It’s a small industry and there is plenty of work for everyone. I routinely pass on work to many colleagues, when I don’t have dates available with me or when the learning topic is not my expertise. Often, not always the favour is returned. You also earn the clients good will. And I strongly believe that goodwill is key for long term, mutually beneficial work and professional relationships

7.       Take the bad experiences in your stride: There will be some bad eggs out there who might take advantage. You might have to chase payments for months or sometimes not get any. You might realise that a training Organization you represent at a client’s has not done their needs analysis appropriately and you might have to facilitate something different on the fly. You might not get work sometimes or be overwhelmed by too much work. Learn from these experiences. Create a network of trusted clients that are consistent with payment. Drop the unreliable one’s even if they offer a lot of work.

8.       Learn to say no. Sometimes clients might ask you do something that you might believe is wrong for them. Stand up to them. Your experience and expertise is what they seek, even if they don’t know it at the time. Refuse work if you don’t think you are the best person for it. Integrity is appreciated because it is not expected often, especially in consultants…

9.       Have an elevator pitch ready: Learn to market yourself. Create a powerful brief profile, no longer than a page, and then create an elevator pitch for yourself basis that profile. For that you need to figure out your niche. A good facilitator can facilitate anything, but what are you really good at and passionate about? What really gets me excited is any kind inter-personal work. I love helping people manage personal and professional relationships. So I always position myself in that light.

      An Independent professional’s world is full of adventure and everyday is a new challenge. Its not an easy journey but it’s a journey that’s worth undertaking. At the end of the day, you work for yourself, choose the assignments that excite you and make more money than you did as a salaried professional. You can also strike the right work life balance and improve the quality of your life dramatically. I love this path. I hope and wish that should you choose to take this road less travelled you find all the success and happiness. 

If emotions are infectious, then you want to catch his cold!

Emotional Intelligence (EI) as articulated by Goleman spiked great interest in the concept. Suddenly it was cool to talk about emotions at the work place. 

As someone with scientific and personal interest with EI, I found the model difficult to understand. Peers in the LnD community who also facilitate EI sessions agreed and we have had many discussions around how someone can do 'anything' under the guise of EI. The sheer number of competencies included in the EI framework can be overwhelming:

Self Awareness: 

• Emotional self-awareness 

• Accurate self-assessment 

• Self-confidence 

Self Management: 

• Self-control 

• Trustworthiness 

• Conscientiousness 

• Adaptability 

• Achievement orientation 

• Initiative 

Social Awareness 

• Empathy 

• Organisational Awareness 

• Service Orientation 

Social skills 

• Influence 

• Leadership 

• Developing Others 

• Communication 

• Change Catalyst 

• Conflict Management 

• Building Bonds 

• Teamwork and Collaboration 

The competencies mentioned reads like a checklist of every desirable trait in a person, a super human who I doubt exists. The list when shared with managers geared to become more ‘emotionally intelligent’ really has an intimidating effect.

I understood early on that while Goleman’s work had really helped all of us in making the business case for creating more emotionally aware employees, his model was not the easiest to understand.

I have created my version of EI based on the work of Albert Ellis and his very powerful psychotherapy framework. Ellis’s Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy helps us to examine our basic beliefs and resultant emotions and provides practical tools to dispute irrational beliefs that lead to negative emotions. I do draw on Goleman’s work especially his synthesis of so much psycho-neurological research.

Recently I came across the work of Shirzad Chamine from Stanford. He talks about Positive Intelligence and has simplified Goleman’s model beautifully. Here’s his TED talk about his work. Sincere, passionate communication of positive emotions is rare among academics, but Shirzad manages to do just that. If emotions are infectious, then you want to catch his cold!

PS: I encourage you to visit his website and take this free assessment here:http://positiveintelligence.com/assessments/

Resolutions! Resolutions!- Or Taking Care of the Present 365 times!

A brand new year, 365 days of possibilities and the promise of a fresh start! What a wonderful time this is.

Alright I do think I am awesome, but not perfect. So to reach Calvin like perfection here are some resolutions:

1. This is the year for Merciless Introspection. I refuse to give myself any hiding place and comfort in the form of denial or ‘sane delusions’ (little lies that we tell ourselves and others to appear better than we are).

2. This is the year to Learn, Learn, Learn. Every year I set aside a self development budget and learn something that will help me to be a better facilitator. This year there are several promising options that I am considering. Suggestions are always welcome. J

3. This is the year to Network… even more. The year has begun with an unusually high number of calls from very old clients and colleagues and acquaintances. The power of a good network in this close knit community of facilitators is immense. All good work is always recalled and often rewarded with repeat business. So this year I am revisiting my phone book and calling on those learning and development professionals that I have connected with over the years.  

4. This is the year to strengthen my Conviction, Courage and Compassion. With these three Cs in my attitude arsenal, mountains become molehills. Sometimes I may need courage to stand up to an aggressive client, or the compassion to listen to what a coachee is really saying in the guise of sarcastic, self deprecatory humour or the conviction in my ability and judgement to stand by my choices in face of criticism. More on the three Cs soon!

5. And finally and most importantly this is the year of Conscious Living. One Buddhist sutra states: “If you want to understand the causes that existed in the past, look at the results as they are manifested in the present. And if you want to understand what results will be manifested in the future, look at the causes that exist in the present”. It is always the present that counts. All I have to do is to take care of the present, 365 times this year!

  

The Power of Questions

Most of my work as a facilitator revolves around asking the right questions. Sometimes even tough questions. Recently I was facilitating a group of Function Heads of an engineering/manufacturing Organization. The market for their product was in the dumps. We were talking about challenging comfort zones in a time like this for themselves and their departments.

I had a very sceptical Head of Production who wasn’t ‘buying it’. Apparently, it had been announced that year, that there would be no incentives for exceeding the Minimum Required Production (MRP) for the workers (say 100 units a day, per worker). As a result morale was low and the workers simply stopped production once they had reached this minimum expected number. “No amount of motivation will work with them. Money is the only motivator.” I was told. Everybody agreed readily, except for the newly appointed Head of RnD. The Head of HR hastily added that, the workers were being paid their salary on time; there had been no layoffs either which was great as compared to their competitors who had handed out pink slips by the hundreds.

I posed some questions to the Head of Production,

1. Would you feel and do the same if you were in the worker’s shoes?

His answer: “Yes of course I wouldn’t do anything beyond the MRP if I wasn’t getting paid for it! Why should I?” (More nods from the rest of the group)

2. Are there any workers that go above and beyond that minimum number even though they know that they will not get any incentive for it?

His answer: A little hesitantly, “Yes there are a few, about 7-8. They do it to pass their time I guess.”

3. What are you doing to ensure that these few continue to do their extra bit?

His Answer: Silence

The room was silent for a while. I let the question weigh on everyone’s mind. The Finance Head asked, “So what can we do to motivate the few who continue to exceed their MRP?

Where do you think they should begin?

Begin from within I say. All the Heads already held the same belief as their workers. If you believe that power is the only motivator obviously you will never look beyond it. We rolled up our sleeves and did some work on how they would address this problem. All the solutions came from them. The discussion was constructive and positive.

The power of probing and asking the right questions is immense. It can change paradigms and force us to examine harmful beliefs. Questions can help us to polish our mirrors and see who we really are. Facilitation is about helping people to look within and clean off the dust from their mirrors. With clarity comes insight and the ability to tackle problems creatively and address issues authentically. Questions help us clarify our vision and make the assumptions and intent behind decisions more conscious. A good question can get to the heart of the real issue. It helps you understand the other person’s goals and aspirations. It enables the other person to reach their own conclusions. It reframes the problem and sometimes it can even inspire commitment.

Mistrust can kill your team

The reason why I haven't been as active on this blog recently is because I am now busy writing for the SME section of moneycontrol.com. 

Reproducing below the latest article, something close to my heart. 

I have seen firsthand how teams crumble and productivity diminishes when trust is low in teams. So what are the symptoms of a team suffering from mistrust? Well here's my article that addresses this very question. 

Mistrust can kill your team Mukti Shah Trust is a tricky thing. It can make all the difference between a healthy and productive team and one that tears itself apart. It is therefore imperative that a team leader creates a healthy culture of trust because a team that trusts is secure and also performs better. This crucial ingredient, intangible yet a powerful motivator, works on two levels - between team members as well as between them and their leader. Either way, the onus is on you because a good team leader always sets the tone. This would mean setting up a transparent system, assessing performance as objectively as possible and never playing favourites. Remember, mistrust can go viral very quickly. So here's a checklist that will help you detect the problem and nip it in the bud. How to take a trust-check Are your team members too guarded? Keep an ear open for stilted conversations and lack of openness and authenticity in conversations. Do your team members think twice about what they say and to whom they say it? Lack of trust is also fertile ground for people to jump to conclusions and hold grudges against each. You will be surprised how much energy it takes to manage a team that mistrusts each other. So, identify the problem quickly, before work starts to suffer. Watch out for blame games: Passing the buck is not unusual but when blame games become habitual, it's a sign of a deeper malaise. If your team members do not own responsibility, both individually and collectively, your business will not be productive. Since energy is directed at protecting oneself and pointing fingers, the focus shifts away form work. Says Vijay Gupta, a behavioral expert and also Founder and President of TeamResults Corporate Solutions Ltd, "Blaming each other for failure and trying to be seen by the entrepreneur/leader as being more reliable than the other members is a definite sign that there is an absence of trust in your team." Your business could take a hit: Have you noticed a lack of meaningful debate during meetings? Low trust stifles creativity and risk-taking. So, even if someone has a brilliant idea, they are reluctant to share it with the team. Creative thinking, brainstorming and problem-solving take the fall. If you notice that your team members are not actively involved in meetings, and work in general, the problem could be lack of trust. Mistrust kills team work: Mistrust is essentially associated with suspicion about information and it therefore results in reduced information exchange and feedback between members. They stop soliciting or offering performance feedback to each other, which robs opportunities for self-correction. Monitoring performance then falls to the entrepreneur or team leader, who already has too much on their plate. Mistrust also compromises the ability to anticipate other team members' needs through accurate knowledge of their responsibilities. This includes the ability to shift workloads among members and assist each other to achieve balance during periods of high workload or pressure. Perhaps it's time to take a trust-check? Get your team to trust you A good team leader or entrepreneur always leads by example. Thus, at the organisational or policy level, they must ensure that appreciation and recognition is based on objective criteria. So, for instance, they do not hire relatives and friends. And, most importantly, they create transparencies in the system so that everyone can see each other's results and performance," Gupta points out. On the flipside, he adds, "Although trust is the backbone of the structure of a team, every task still needs to be tracked to ensure proper execution. Trust as an excuse for lack of follow-up can be suicidal for an enterprise. However, the follow-up and discussions on execution have to be open and done with the people responsible for them." Mukti Shah is a Clinical Psychologist, Corporate Consultant and an accredited Entrepreneurial Motivation Trainer. smementor@moneycontrol.com